To My Toxic EX

I love how your love matters more than my feeling. 
How I am supposed to suppress the pain from within to endure the love you want to give?
Pushing and pulling for more than I can emotionally give
Is my honesty not enough? Do my tears not suffice?
I can't handle any more of this strife
No, I can't love you through my heartbreak
No, a marriage won't fix matters
Why can't you listen to my concerns?
Can't you hear the pain in my voice?
Giving you the absolute most that you don't appreciate 
Instead, you wish for me to mask my pain
You want the lovey dovey me before you broke my heart
Before the daily arguments and screaming matches
The constant lack of communicating and listening
Now, you want me to "try" more than I can give
Because your persistent need to be with me is bigger than my need to be mentally and emotionally healthy. 
Damn my honesty and love language.
Your want to be married to me despite the pain I'm in is far more important.
That's why you lash out at me when I'm honest about what I like or don't like. 
Your efforts are recognized but this woman isn't going to settle for a boy who puts his wants over my needs.
Take this toxicity to a girl who doesn't know better.
If you truly loved me, you wouldn't push me for a relationship that I don't want. 
Think about that before you fix your mouth to tell me what I'm doing is not enough. 
I'm more than enough for myself.

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